Surrender

Birth, like death, is not fully controllable. We weren't meant to understand birth or to control it. We are meant to take responsibility for the parts of it that we can, and then just experience it... At some point, we must let go and allow the process to be. Faith is not belief without proof but trust without reservation. Nancy Wainer Chohen

I read this quote this week from Terry Hershey's "Sabbath Moment" and it echoes a sentiment that was shared with my by someone I really admire at work. Nancy describes herself as an "Earth Mama in Ann Taylor clothes." She is a chaplain, spiritual director and executive at Hospice Austin. She is one of those people who you really wish you could be more like. Anyway, Nancy loves talking about birth. She has two adolescent sons and raises her family on their Organic Blueberry Farm outside of Austin. Very cool.

I was talking to Nancy about my fears and anxiety about labor and she told me that she too had similar feelings before her first son was born. She explains that she was telling a trusted friend about this, and also about the work in hospice she was doing at the time. The friend responded, "Oh, you work in hospice? Then you will be fine." Nancy questioned her, "How do you mean?" The friend responded, "Well, because you already know all about surrender." 

Wise, wise, woman!  SURRENDER. Like the quote above states...we weren't meant to control it, we must let go an allow the process to be. So often in my work we explain this to families as their loved ones face the end of life. I have seen with my own eyes, how much patients (and families) who try to control it, end up suffering, struggling, and hanging on....not allowing the natural process to take its course. Of course resistance is often the result of fear...fear of pain, fear of the unknown, and fear of letting go of control. Conversely, those who allow for appropriate intervention, pain relief, and understand the natural course of things, usually have a much better experience. 

Nancy also told me about the morning of her birth. She attended her prenantal yoga class that morning and felt strange. She said the instructor had a picture of a large sunflower at the front of the room. She said it helped her to meditate on that image...beautiful and open for the experience that was about to rock her world!