Grain of Rice

My second appointment for an ultrasound was on February 1, which was Nick's 34th birthday. I was uneasy all day while waiting for the 3:15 appointment. I was just so afraid the sack would be empty today. When I was waiting for her to start, I told Dr. Brown how worried I had been since last week and from my research on the Internet. She told me not to worry and that "that wouldn't be the worse thing." That did't feel very assuring.

Anyway, Nick came in and she started the exam. It just took a second for the image to appear and it was obvious that major changes had taken place in the last week. Our baby was there on the screen, the size of a grain of rice. Oh, I was so relieved! We could even see a little flicker, which was the heartbeat. Dr. Brown says its at 116 beats/minute, which is perfect. It ended up being a happy birthday for Nick and I finally had the assurance that I desperately wanted. My next visit will be in four weeks. So at this visit, Dr. Brown said I was 6 weeks and 5 days, with a due date of September 21, 2012!

First Doctor's Visit

My first OBGYN appointment was on Tuesday, January 24. There was a part of me that still could not believe this news is true and really looked forward to the validation that I would get from Dr. Brown. When she did the ultrasound, what came up on th screen was the gestational sack. She said that I am not as far along as she thought. (Oh no! What does that mean?) She tried several times to manipulate it to see if there was evidence of an embryo. She told me that I must be at 5 weeks, instead of 6, and that I could come back in 7-10 days for another ultrasound. She didn't give me much time to ask questions, but she said "it isn't bad." She printed out the picture and gave me a tote full of enfamil coupons and brochures and I left.

It didn't dawn on me until I got home and thought more about it, and consulted the Web, that I thought maybe this isn't so good. All I wanted was some reassurance that I was indeed pregnant and that the baby was doing well and on target. As the days grew on, I became more anxious and fearful about what would come about on the next visit. What if it was another picture of an empty sack? After researching "blighted ovum," I was petrified. It would be a long week to wait for the next appointment!

Sharing the news

Oh, is it hard keeping such news a secret for long! It will be very difficult to wait to announce the pregnancy to our extended group of friends and family, but we couldn't wait too long to spill the beans to our closest people. The first person I told was my oldest friend, Alex.

I waited nearly a week to tell my sister. I met her on January 18 to accompany to her to an appointment in Austin. I picked up lunch for us at P. Terry's Burger stand, but we wouldnt be able to eat until after the appointment. When we got out, I took the bag of burgers and handed it to Sarah. She looked at it strangely for a second. I had written "Aunt Sarah" on the bag with a Sharpie. Because we have an Aunt Sara, she was wondering why I would write Aunt Sarah on the bag, using Sarah with an "h." Then she got it! Sarah said, "Oh my god! You're pregnant!?" and then she screamed in the parking lot. So, that was fun.

Later that evening, my parents were driving down from Allen to San Marcos. We discussed meeting them for dinner on their way down there. With me working late and traffic, and them being so tired, it didnt seem like we were going to be able to get together for dinner afterall. I was dispointed because I wanted to tell them in person, today! So, I asked my mom if they could just meet me at the Target on the tollway by my house so I could give her some things to take to my sister.

Nick and I met them and talked for a bit about our house sale negotiations and then they said they had to go. They hadnt eaten since breakfast and were exhausted from a long workday and drive. The both got back into the car and were ready to take off. I looked at Nick like "do something!" So Nick yells at my parents, "Get out of the car!!" My mom wouldnt budge. She goes, "why?" He responded "Get out of the car!!" Finally she got out of the car once my dad did and Nick said "we have something to tell you." My dad knew immediately. "We're having a baby!" They were so happy. Everyone was tearing up and then my dad said, "OK, now we have to go to dinner!" We went to Thai Spoon and had a good meal. My mom was shaking the entire time. She wanted to know how long she would have to wait before she could tell people/put it on Facebook. At this point I havent even been to the doctor yet! She said she wanted to tell my Aunt Sara, but would wait until after the appointemnt on Tuesday.

In the car ride back, we called my Grandma on speaker and told her the news, that she is going to be a Great-Grandma! She was so excited and said she will now have something to dream about. About 10p.m. when I was in bed, I got a congratulatory text from my Aunt Sara. I just laughed...mom just could not WAIT to tell someone. It's fun and I can't wait to tell my friends.

Two Pink Lines

January 12, 2012. A day I will never forget! This morning, I found out out I am pregnant. It feels unbelieveable and I think if I allowed myself to really delve into the reality of what this all means for me, my body, my family, our life...I would probably be freaking out right now, but I am surprisingly calm. It is still so early, and there is much time that will need to pass before I think I will be able to really believe it, and feel it. There is this protectiveness I have developed about getting my hopes up, and I am guarding that like a precious gem...for the time being.

The most exciting part of the day was telling Nick the good news. All day I thought about how I would tell him. It was hard to keep it in until I got home at nearly 8 p.m. He was in the kitchen getting dinner and I ran upstairs and retreived the test that I had hidden in the closet. I placed it in a gift box and ran downstairs and presented him with a present. He opened it, and looked at the test quizzically. I said, "It's true. We're having a baby!" His eyes filled with tears and all he could say was "Wow!" He was really happy, and that made me so happy!

Now we just wait for the little poppy seed to grow and for out first doctor's appointment on January 24. We can't wait to tell our family and friends.