Nothing's gonna change my world

Lately I have been noticing the ease and freedom of how we live, shop, move about this town. One thing people are quick to tell you when you announce your pregnancy (as if you really needed them to say it) is that "your life will never be the same again." I want to say "Wait...what!?" It's obvious that life will not ever be the same as it was B.C. (before children). But, there is also this tone in the way that they say it which seems like people almost delight in the presumed loss of fun, independence and traveling that you will face as soon as your baby arrives. I know that things will not be easy logistically anymore and of course we will make adaptations, but I don't like how some people act like they are martyrs once they have children.

Today in yoga class we had a substitute instructor. When I came in the class she had the Beatles song, "Across the Universe" playing. Before she started class she said that she loved how she could hear everyone kind of singing or humming the tune to themselves. I do love that song! Then she said she had a realization she wanted to share. She said "Nothing's gonna change your world." I'm thinking "Wait...what!?" She said that having a baby will rock your world, but nothing will change your world. She went on to explain that if you are a joyous person, for example, your child will reflect that joy and likewise if your life is in disarray. I thought about it for a second because this was the exact opposite thing that people had been telling me before (i.e. everything is going to change). The instructor said that we are who we are and we will share that with our babies, not change as a result of them.

I continued to think about it and about couples that I knew BC and now that they have kids. Those who were laid back, happy, positive, non-anxious BC, are still mostly that way. And the ones who were rigid, anxious and overbearing BC, are still that way! There is something comforting in knowing that we can maintain the parts of ourselves that we want, and are not forced to abandon them just because someone now calls us "Mom." And when I think about myself and the life experiences and transitions I have had, like getting married...I am still the same as I was before that! Life is enhanced, but my world is not changed. ((Sigh of Relief))

So as I continue through the remaining 15 weeks of pregnancy, I want to keep this in mind. There is so much fear and anxiety that labor and birthing evokes and this idea of being strong and not unwavering is kind of empowering!

That's the World I Know

La Zona Rosa Concert Venue

Time is flying by! Here we are at 24 weeks. This weekend Nick and I went to see the band, Collective Soul at La Zona Rosa in downtown Austin. Collective Soul was a pretty popular 90's band with several great hits. I hadn't been to La Zona Rosa since college and remember it being the best concert I ever experienced...maybe that's because when I went there were seats! We arrived after doors opened at 8:00. The band came on at 9:15 and ended at 11:30. That's over 3 hours of standing. Never again. The music was really great but I think that will be my last concert to attend where I can't sit down. To make matters worse for me, I have to go to the bathroom a lot more than usual now. Snaking in and out of a packed in concert crows is not really pleasant. Needless to say, we had a good time and are trying to take in all the live music we can before baby arrives in September.

I am still feeling pretty good these days. We have our child-birthing classes set up for August and am working on a hypnotherapy series for July when we get back from our vacation. I think that time will really start to fly by after that! We are having a little cookout this weekend at our pool with some friends and are soaking up the summer time!

Here is a little "Dad Cam" report on pregnancy thus far and here I am at 24 weeks and 3 days!

24 weeks and 3 days

Memorial Day Weekend

Best Buddies

This weekend Nick and I went to Allen for a quick visit. Diana was in town from Germany, so we were very excited to be able to spend some time with her. We had a nice brunch and then did some shopping. Diana bought the baby her very first University of Texas Apparel, a set of Longhorn onesies. Good thing Baby will be here just in time for football season!


Though we were only in Allen a short while, we got to see a lot of people. It was nice to visit with Solina and also two of mom's cousins, one who was in town from Chicago and she had never met before! Dad made the most delicious dinner on Saturday night. I can't believe I didn't take a picture: grilled shrimp, beef kabobs, mushroom & fettuccine, corn and garlic bread! What a feast! It was also great seeing my grandma, who looked so beautiful! Was good to be home.

A beautiful day in Austin, Texas!

Today is Memorial Day and Nick is working. I woke up early and went down to Town Lake for a walk. The weather was quite nice and I think everyone in Austin was at the trail. It's always fun to be on the trail because you see all kinds of people and pooches. This was the first time I had gone down there since I was pregnant. This time, passing all the Moms (or Dads) with baby joggers on the trail, I felt different. No longer will I daydream about that "one day" when I have a child or family of my own...mine reality is on it's way! I look forward to be able to come down to this beautiful place in this great city with My Baby.

Super-Mom of Three!

There was a woman there today with a triple-jogger. She passed me a couple times (!!) and I snapped a picture for my friend, Alex, who will have 3 children under 3 years-old when her son in born in November. This lady, with her very wide load, was definitely turning some heads on the trail. I wondered how she managed to get out the door, let alone in the car and down to the lake for a job with her brood. Wow!

After my walk, I went to the mall and got a maternity swimsuit top and a couple other things (Glad Nick's working today!). I am consciously aware of how I can zip around town and move with ease, when soon it won't be so easy with a baby in tow. I finished my holiday with grocery shopping and some pool time in my new suit...along with some loads of laundry. It's been a very full weekend and I am grateful for all the people I got to spend it with.

Here with Family...looking pregnant!

Meltdown

Yesterday was Monday and it marked the beginning of the week and the start of a new venture for me at work. Due to some changes at work, my territory jumped from covering 6 hospitals to 11, stretching all the way from Georgetown and Cedar Park down south to Kyle. I started out with a very busy day and many new patients that had to be seen. When I arrived at Seton Williamson (where I will be delivering) to see my first patient, I had a complete meltdown. Basically, I was leaving the office to check in when another woman was coming through the door, which almost hit me. It didn't hit me, but my reaction was totally out of control. I went and sat down and just started bawling. Luckily it is not a very busy hospital. I decided I needed some fresh air and sat outside the Women's Center and called Nick. I knew how irrational my response was. I just felt like the world was imploding and I could not stop. Finally I went to my car where there was A/C and dried my eyes and flakes of mascara wiped across my cheeks. After about an hour after I arrived, I finally went up to see the patient. Urgh! Luckily I was able to laugh about it with some co-workers at Happy Hour later that day. My friend, Lisa, who is pregnant with twins also shared her mother's day meltdown story. We blame the hormones 100%.

I'm 22 weeks and 4 days today

Today was my 22 week visit to see Dr. Brown. Nick and I went and it was a really fast visit. She did another ultrasound and the images are not quite as clear as the past few have been, but cool never the less. We did get a really good glimpse of the baby's spine, seeing all the little vertebrae. Other than that, there was not much new to discuss at this visit. We will go back in another month.

Tonight we walked over to Macy's after dinner and ventured up to the baby section. Nick gravitated to the Baby Polo section, of course. He bought his first outfit...an adorable baby blue Polo dress with bloomers. He also picked up some Nike baby socks this weekend! He can't resist and I think we may be in trouble!! :)
We also went to see the move "What to Expect When You're Expecting" over the weekend. It was a very predictable kind of movie and format. but it had parts that we could relate to. The end was touching when the babies were all born. We are so looking forward to that day for us!

Happy Mother's Day (In-Utero)!

My mom and me in 1983

I started out this Mother's Day with a pre-natal yoga class. There were lots of mom's-to-be there today. Well, before I actually went into the class I sat in the car and read the "Letters to the Editor" in the Statesman that were all Odes to Moms. I had to stop because it was getting to be emotionally too much for me. Themes of sacrifice, selflessness, unconditional love, heartache, joy, loss and memories were threaded throughout all the letters. I thought also about a couple of mothers who were celebrating their first Mother's Day without their children, who had been patients of mine. And of course all the people who have lost their mother's...days like this are hard. And then there are the friends of mine who would love to be mothers, but are struggling. I thought about them, too. Maybe Mother's Day is just too much!

Anyway, the yoga class was great. I feel so sore from the weight lifting/squat regime I did on Saturday from Fit Pregnancy magazine. It was nice to stretch things out in yoga. Some of the women have quite a lot of pains and complications. It's kind of scary to hear about things like that, especially the lady that said she went into labor at 24 weeks and had to go on bed rest until now, 37 weeks!

21 weeks in my new dress

After class, I came home and Nick and I went to Babies-R-Us to start our gift registry. It was not such a good experience. I think that a first-time-mom should only go into a place like this with a woman who has recently had a baby and knows what they are doing! Just choosing which type of bottles and nipples seemed so daunting. I kept asking myself  "but how do you know which ones are the best?" Maybe there is not a right answer, but everything just seemed so wrong. There were simply too many choices. It's not like a wedding registry, where you know exactly what kind and color of Stand mixer you want or what casserole dish would suit your needs. Bottles are not just bottles. There are components. Too many components. And then there are the larger-ticket items. We got into an argument about the Boppy, a breast-feeding support pillow. Nick thought it was frivolous. Somehow, I felt like it was necessary and that I have seen my friends with these types of pillows. (And how could Nick restrict me from getting a pillow- when he is the King when it comes to pillow purchasing. We have more pillows that we have plates!). I did not like this process. Nick clearly did not like it. We ran through the store and then left, feeling defeated. This was supposed to be fun! Right?!?

Nick does bath duty his first Baby, Tortie

We ended up going from there to Mattress Firm because we are in need of a new mattress. We spent about 2 hours in there and closed the place down. Nick, of course found the perfect tempur-pedic pillow that he will be purchasing! We left there with hopes of returning and getting a mattress tomorrow that will give us sweet dreams and non-aching backs. Lastly, we decided that we would go to Target and try their registry. The selections at Target were more more manageable and less overwhelming. It ended up being a good experience and we are happy with what we selected...or so we think! I guess we will never know what Baby will need or want until she gets here, and we have lots of time to go.

110% Girl

She's a Lady!

Yesterday was my 20-week anatomy scan appointment at the specialist's office. It was a morning appointment, which I like because I get to see baby sooner, but that means Daddy won't be there. The ultrasound technician immediately identified the female parts and said , "It's definitely a girl! 110% positive." It was nice to have that confirmation! I was sad Nick couldn't be there because I know he would have enjoyed this visit.

20-week belly

She took measurements of all parts of the anatomy. She showed me the 4 chambers of the heart, the stomach, two kidneys, hands and feet with fingers and toes, a nasal bone, femur, umbilical cord artery and veins, and a sweet little face-in-the making. I enjoyed seeing her open and close her mouth. Today the baby weighs 12 ounces and will be a pound by the end of the week. She said that in the next 4-6 weeks, the baby will double in size. This appointment was a success-everything appears to be healthy and going strong for our little princess. Now, she needs a name!

Right Footsie

Reflections from the Mid-Way Point

Today is the half-way point of my pregnancy! I am at 20 weeks. It is amazing how fast the last 4 months have gone by. I still can't *quite* believe there is a little person the length of a carrot and the size of a cantaloupe inside my body. Wow!  A lot has happened since we first found out we were having a baby. Our house went under contract twice, we moved out, moved back, and finally sold the house and moved out for good just 2 weeks ago. Nick and I are getting settled in our new little place and feel good about the new beginning, even though we wonder where we will fit all of our stuff when the baby arrives.

So while at the grocery store tonight, I was thinking about the pregnancy so far...I actually have been really aggravated with grocery shopping lately. Parking at the HEB is nightmare and lines are long. My friend told me that the HEB on Far West Blvd has "stork parking" spaces. So tonight, I decided that I would drive a few miles out of my way to that store and claim my special parking spot. After all, I only have 20 more weeks left to use the "pregnancy card." Unfortunately, there were no stork signs in sight. Grrr...well, at least it is Friday night and primo-parking is really not that hard to obtain.

There are perks to being pregnant, certainly. People are nice to you, always concerned about how you are feelings, co-workers who have never talked to you before now act like they are intimately invested in your  daily life and well-being. Friends dote on you and enjoy talking about the future of the little one. You don't have to worry about being "swim-suit ready" for the pool and you definitely don't have to help anyone move or lift boxes (that came in handy for me of late)! And I am still on the look-out for my stork parking.

Besides the aforementioned things, pregnancy thus far has not seemed to change my life drastically. I think because I feel so good most of the time, I even forget that I am pregnant. I think I have felt the baby move, though I am not 100% sure. It feels like fleeting little hunger pains. Or maybe that's just my body's way of telling me I need more Oreos. Not sure. I look forward to the day when I will know with certainty that "that was a kick!"

I finally bought my Yoga Yoga pass and am getting into the prenatal yoga classes. It is really fun to see other pregnant ladies at various stages, shapes and sizes. I hope that the classes will help me in labor. I have heard women say that they really do make a difference. Monday is the 20-week scan at the specialist's office and hopefully we will have confirmation that our baby girl is indeed a girl!